formerly Akeret haBayit in Training

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Maybe I’m not good enough . Maybe I don’t know enough . Maybe I can’t, and it will turn out a complete disaster, and nothing will ever come of it. Maybe I just don’t know what I’m doing, but it’s probably my wild imagination, a whim or fancy. Maybe I won’t after all. I am scared. This is a big step for me. Some might think it’s silly that I am frightened. But I am . I am frightened of speaking my mind. I am afraid to take a leap of faith to where I don’t know . That’s it. Fear. A subtle but strong thing. How can I let it prevent me from so much? It hinders every possibility, not allowing something to grow, for fear of what it might become, good or bad. Fear of thoughts, action, consequences. Fear of confidence, boldness. Afraid of others, tumbling down of ideals, not meeting up to something. Fear of losing, falling, failure.
Fear can only exist in comfort zones. That is where fear is rooted. Fear is keeping you in there, the comfort zone. It will allow you the space to explore things with your mid, but not with your feelings .You can think about doing something to which fear says no, but you cannot actually do it. And the worst part about fear is- YOU CREATE IT. You create fear. By forming an imaginary place of mental and emotional, even spiritual comfort, you give fear an open door to come in and perhaps stay a while with you. It is perhaps the most rampant disease that prevents one from being oneself, or venturing out on unknown journeys. Of course there is a difference between fear of G-d and fear of heights. Fear of people, by people I mean the whole package- what they think, what they’ll do, etc. etc. etc.
Conquer it. You can do it. Fear can be an emotion, a mindset, an illusion.

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