formerly Akeret haBayit in Training

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My New Year's Climb

The past few days, Rosh haShana included (oh, and a belated L'shana tova to you all! (Happy Jewish New Year, or more accurately, A Good Year to you) sorry for the lack of posting) have been the most mentally and emotionally difficult days I've had to work through personally. I've been fighting guilt, condemnation, and self pity. I feel like it's been trying to overtake me and hinder my fresh beginning of the new year.I feel like I've finally won the battle today, or last night,and am on the road to recovering joy.Continue>>I wrote a prayer that expresses my re-commitment to HaShem, and dedicating myself to Him. I felt much better after I did that - re-committed myself. I really don't feel comfortable sharing such a personal thing, but I know you'll understand. I just felt like I could share this, because maybe I could tell someone that even one they feel that their mind is going out of control, and there is no hope of stopping the thoughts that put you down,you can do it, Abba will lift you up when you cry to Him. I think He was probably trying to teach me how much I need Him, and how much I need to cling to Him and be dedicated to Him everyday. When I fail to be constant in prayer,study, and meditating , I get farther away from Him and more susceptible to fall into my old ways. That shows the importance of steadfastness in prayer and other things that draw you closer to HaShem, like just thinking about Him and His goodness.
Anyway, I hope this has helped someone. Any Questions? lol
Things have been going smoothly around here. We had a good Rosh haShana, and may we have a good year. I will be graduating this year (or next year if we are looking at the secular calender, which means in 2010), and my brother will have his Bar Mitzvah. I will also learn how to drive this fall, and turn 16 in October, plus having several sessions I may possibly do, plus this school year which I still have to do, and not to mention Yom Kippur, Sukkot and other various things, known and unknown. But whatever comes, it will surely be for the best, and HaShem knows all things.
I have to go now, but I hope to post more often, as things get more organized. I never imagined I'd post without a picture, but I don't ave the time. My goodness, I used to be a fairly good blogger, but now I am a very negligent one. Go to my Mom's blog if you want some good blogging ;) She's taken my place. Love you Mom!

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