Me, Myself, Him, and Time

*Just so you know, that is also the title of a song*
*Oh, and this post is an observation on becoming.You can find posts like these under the letter label, "my climb"*

Sometimes I feel like I'm over my head. I'm in a race, that's also a battle, that's also a learning experience. Talk about "figuring it out"! I've never been a "carefree" person, (much to the worry and scolding of my mom *wink*) but I'm still not a "grownup". Wow, quotation marks are really popular in this post, aren't they? 
And at times, I really feel the pressure to live my life purposefully. But the thing is, as the thing is with so many things, what is living my life purposefully supposed to look like?   
I can admit-I've wasted a lot of time-I procrastinate, hesitate, basically, "be lazy". And a lot of times its because I'm afraid to go too fast. And sometimes its because I want to just take it easy. What's the rush? But all this is besides the point. 
I've  been really thinking lately-yeah, I say my life purpose is to serve HaShem, to bring honor and glory to His name through all I do and say. But with my human mind, that reason is more difficult to use when it comes to the little things, like homemaking.  What to do, what to do? 
Well, I think I know. For now. And what to do-is just do it. Maybe the "emptiness", for lack of a better word, is because I'm not doing whatever it is I'm pushing to the side. I won't bother being specific here, because the list might be too long for comfort *sigh*thinks*shifts uncomfortably*decides to move on*
There's so much to do, that can be done, at this stage in my life. I mean, we all have massive amounts of potential. We all do. What we do with it is what counts. 

But we can't do everything-only what we're called to. And it doesn't have to be some grand thing. It doesn't have to be anything that you think. G-D, HaShem, He is the one who makes our lives purposeful. He is the one who calls us-we don't call ourselves, we didn't create ourselves, so we can't decide our purpose. We have to look to Him for it. Into ourselves too, because we have the gifts and talents He's given us to put to use, and He's also given us a soft spot for specific things-for example, injustice, helping the poor, needy, etc etc. But ultimately, we can't create our destiny.Only decide to follow it. 
We do have our power of choice, but I believe that everything happens for the best, that HaShem guides it. Our "failings", our "successes", our "work", they're all for the best. So never regret something,never boast of something. And there's another reason for each thing, as to why not to do them. 1) If we repent of our sins,"He is faithful and just to forgive us". 2) We do nothing out of our own power-He grants it all to us.
And I know that it can take a while, or a long time, to figure out what you are supposed to be doing. 
But I can assure you, its very rarely far off, and more often right in front of us. It can be serving your very own family, or serving people in another country, or the neighbor, or all three. They're all as important, and I believe that we're called to ultimately serve others, as Yeshua haMashiach (Jesus the Messiah) has served us, and led a life of serving. 


Now please, don't take anything I say as a rule for living, unless you feel G-D is speaking to you through it, Baruch HaShem. I do not know everything, I am just expressing myself, here, where I am at in life, and what's on my mind, from my point of view  :) 


Right now, its me, myself, Him, and time. I'll find my life. I probably already have found it, just need to live it.