formerly Akeret haBayit in Training

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Observations on Becoming~ September 5

Ah! Maturity! Often mistaken for age or responsibility, and often used to insult people when the letters “im” are put before it. But what is maturity really? Is it being the better, bigger person? Is it always being cool, calm and collected? Is it being older in age? NO!!! Maturity like all qualities and virtues is completely an inward thing, that shows in your behavior and actions. Maturity is often separated from things like kindness, generosity, and etc, but I think it is as important-not more, not less. 
But here’s the key- it’s a life long journey! There will always be an area you are immature in, and that’s ok.  A friend of mine said that life would be pretty boring if there wasn’t such a thing as immaturity. Or something like that :p Often times, when I find myself in situations, I don’t tend to think, “What’s the mature thing to do?” Sometimes we don’t know. So rather, I think to myself, “What should I do, according to what I know, where I am at, and what I understand?”
We’re at different levels of “maturity” at different times in our lives. We can always ask people we think are wise and mature for advice, but our lives are ours to live.
Another thing I want to mention- let’s not put on airs of “maturity” because our masks always fall off. It's often thought of as some badge to put on -but the very putting on of that badge is immature, because it shows you don't understand that it's an inward journey. 

Ah. Self confidence! I mentioned it last week- but this week I want to talk about having it! As I mentioned, I lack a bit, ok, more than a bit in self confidence, and it is not good! It makes for many struggles. I want to encourage you to not be afraid to believe in yourself, to believe in HaShem in you, and not to doubt the good and the powerful in you. G-D placed it there, and to second guess it, to shove it to the side, I think is a dishonor to Him. Use it for His glory, and to do what He has called you to do.

People shouldn’t have the power to make us feel less than or incompetent just because we don’t own our own strength and our own selves. It’s not humility to put yourself down or put yourself below others as if you’re not worth anything. Yes, do things for other’s, put other’s before yourself-don’t be selfish. But don’t allow yourself or others to think of you as less worthy, less than, less important. That’s not humility-it’s the opposite of conceit and pride, and just as bad. Extreme's are never good- BALANCE is what we should strive for. Or ease into-whichever is necessary. :p

I have one final thing that I want to talk about. I have come to the dramatic realization that I am tired of being called a "follower" or "not a leader" JUST BECAUSE I have a less dominant personality. I'm not bold enough to say whatever is on my mind- and frankly I don't think its necessary- tact is a forgotten lesson. But anyhow, because of the above two reasons-and because I'm a gentle quiet sort of person, I am labeled as a follower-which gives those with more dominant personalities lead-way to treat me as such.

Now there's a few things-first, there's nothing wrong with being a follower.Only if-your opinion is valued and held as as important as the leader's. Only if- you are treated as an individual with a brain and with strength and with power, and not as some useless mindless being. Only if-you hold your own, do not bend against your principals and beliefs for anyone else. I think you get what I'm saying. 
Second- People label me as a follower (again nothing wrong with it) because I'm a certain type of person. I don't particularly mind that. What I do mind is when they assume I have no strength or opinion or will power as a person.Now this is not entirely my fault- that person may lack the insight to see the true me-or the humility to stop assuming and find out.

  But here's where I come to the BIG realization part- why do people think this about me? Yeah, sometimes they  just take one look at me and think that because of the way I dress... But there's more to it than that. A LOT more. It's the type of behavior and mannerism's, including my speech, that I put out that gives people that impression. 
Am I behaving in a confident manner? (not conceited or overdoing it) Am I acting and talking like a child of HaShem? Am I firm in my belief and not easily or quickly convinced to change my opinions (as long as my opinions not wrong and I know they are)?
If we are not the above, people will see that and some will understand and not treat us negatively, and some won't and will unintentionally treat us as I described before, and some will understand and choose to treat us in a "less than" way. And let's understand something-just because someone treats us as "less than" themselves, it doesn't make them a bad person. No fault makes anyone a bad person. Just as we may tend to the opposite of pride and conceit, they may tend to the opposite of doubt and a lack of self-confidence. And the other way around. :)

I tried the best I could to make sense of this- I feel like its one big jumble in my brain. But hopefully it'll clear up-and G-D always shows us the path, His way, and what we need to get rid of, gain, and keep. 
Blessing to you all!

1 comment:

  1. Wow... I could pretty much have written that last part. I'm finally realizing that it's ok that I am not a Joan of Arc. That just is completely not my personality type - but that's ok, because God did not make everyone to be outspoken and take-charge. Yes, I need to speak up on important issues and not be silent. Yes, I need to be confident and stand strong on what I believe and not allow people to lead me where I don't want to go.
    I need to work on projecting confidence and showing people that I do know what I am doing and what I believe... but I can't and I don't have to change my basic personality.
    Anyway, I thought it was cool that you wrote all that. :D


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